Mum's Lasagne Sauce Red
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Smells like melted cheese and is always dripping. Should form a nice crust after about 10 minutes. Don't use too much or you shall gain copious amounts of weight.
Grandy's Grey Hair Grey
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Regardless of desired outcome, you will start writing a story we've all heard 100 times. This crayon is getting shorter and shorter. So cherish it while you can.
Holiday Campfire Charcoal
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Radiants a slow roasting warmth when in use. If used correctly, the faint sound of waves crashing can be heard.
Surfboard Wax White
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Flaky texture that smells like pineapple. Use frequently for a more tanned complexion and increased risk of skin cancer.
Mouldy Beer Boot Scull Brown
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Leaves a bad taste in your mouth, (also forces bad life choices later that night.) Never use a tradesman's crayon. He's being using it all day and the taste will be worse.
Family Picture Teeth Smile White
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Smooth in texture and never runs out. Will fill your mind with warm memories of home.
Vegemite Black
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Viscus and heavy. Do not use if you want a hairless chest. Sorts the men from the boys.
Bundaberg Rum Gold
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Excessive use is not strictly recommended, unless it's a weekend where use should be frequent and indulgent.
